Monday, March 15, 2010

Scratch and Sniff......

Don't think for one second that just because there is a "roof" and/or an "overhang" at a T stop that that means you won't get rained on.....for that is a total fact the exact opposite is will be soaked.....its like you're standing under a hut made out of sticks and twigs....water cascading down.....on...your....head...I can imagine its like a great big car wash....washing all the pigeon poop down off the make shift roof and onto our heads..........fabulous! make matters worse there was no we waited and waited in the cold rain for 20 glorious minutes until the train finally arrived.......

When I got to Park Street I had zero tolerance for the I took the I was approaching the escalator I noticed a guy in a fluorescent vest with a broom and dustpan in his hand....I then remembered the VOMIT!......but thought hey they must have cleaned it up by now....even if this guy works once a week....he must have noticed it and cleaned it up.......we got to the bottom of the escalator and I got on behind him.....and just beyond the right.....I saw it......THE VOMIT!!.....IT WAS STILL THERE!.....but then I felt reassured after all he was the I'm sure he was on his way up to clean we got closer......he saw it.....and you know what he did?.......he took his broom free hand and TOUCHED IT.!!.......then he SMELLED IT!!!! know what he did after that??? He went up to the top of the escalator and swept up cigarettes and pigeon feathers!

Hey Janitor Guy! Thanks for getting right on that! Way to prioritize.....its only been there a flippin' week...don't tell me its the first time you saw looks like a crime scene out of CSI......let me guess you're not the "vomit cleaner upper" are the guy they send by to "evaluate" the situation.....did you really have to touch it....then smell know that it was vomit??? .....and not fresh vomit but hard, dry, crusty vomit.....Really? Is that what they teach you in janitor school.....scratch and sniff?

Guess who is leaving a LOVE NOTE at the escalator tomorrow????

Monday, March 8, 2010

One Day at a Time

Did I really say that I was happy to be back last week?...that I missed riding the bus and the train?....really?....well I just got a nice bitch slap from reality this morning. Although the morning started out ok….I didn’t have to dress like I was making a trip the Arctic Circle so that was pretty sweet….the bus ride wasn’t so bad….no one pissed me off…..and the train wasn’t packed and the ride was pretty uneventful…..until of course I got to Park Street Station….now I have been trying to set some goals for myself recently and one of them was that I wasn’t going to take the escalator up to the street anymore….I was going to take the stairs…..but then I thought “baby steps’…or more like LAZY STEPS….so I took the escalator….one day at a time right? how about Tuesday….that works for me…..I turned up my iPod…if there is one thing I can’t stand it is running into someone from work who wants to “talk shop” on the way up the Hill…..loud music in my ears allows me to ignore them...nicely.

I made my way through the mass of people to the FAT TRAM……"Journey" was playing so I was more into “Don’t Stop Believing” then anything else….until of course I reached the bottom of the escalator and got on….and that was when I saw it…..right to my right…..running between the handrail and the wall……was a nice dried up river of PUKE! This river ran the whole way down the escalator…… Seriously!?!......Like isn’t there someone is charge of cleaning up puke? I mean even Dunks has a kid who is charge of mopping up puke!

The only thing that came to mind as to how this could happen is this….somebody spent their “spare change” on a mother lode of crystal meth of maybe a couple of bottles of Boons Farm…..and I am guessing they had enough “change” left over to hit the local Burger King for a meal deal…..from what I can see he got the chicken parm sandwich….hold the fries……..before he spewed his guts on the escalator….apparently he didn’t make it to the Dunks at the top of the escalator as he had hoped.....if there is one person that should be taking it "one day at a time" it's this guy....ROOKIE. Needless to say I will be taking the stairs from now on…..

Winter at Rockwell's Pond

When I was a kid living on Pond Street in Leominster, I can remember riding by Rockwell’s Pond on the school bus, peeking out the window as I pressed my nose against the cold foggy glass, hoping and praying that the ice was finally frozen and safe to skate on. All the neighborhood kids would wait in sweet anticipation for our frozen playground to take form. When the ice was finally ready, and the word was out, we wasted no time. We would rummage through our attics or basements for our skates. Some of us didn’t even need skates. We just wanted to hit that ice before anyone else did. All the kids would meet up at the corner of Newton and Pond and make our way down the street with our skates thrown over our shoulders. The cold air would hit our cheeks, causing them to tingle when we laughed. The boys would juggle their skates, a shovel, and their hockey sticks dreaming of skating like Bobby Orr. The girls would imagine spinning on the ice like Dorothy Hamel; after all we all had her haircut. The snow covered street would be quiet and still except for our giggles, and the clickity-clack of the blades of our skates hitting each other as we trudged along on the unshoveled sidewalk.

When we finally made it to Rockwell’s Pond we began shoveling to mark our territory. Our parents couldn’t get us to shovel the driveway, but when it came to claiming our ice, we shoveled like mad. The older kids would still be in bed at this time, so we didn’t have to worry about them dominating the ice and forcing us to play goalie, which often meant target practice for them, and bruises for us. Once we were done with clearing the ice we would lace up our skates, but we never seemed to tie them tight enough, not like a Dad or an older brother would. That only left us with burning ankles, but somehow we suffered through it. Our dull blades would glide slowly over the rough bumps of the ice until we got the hang of skating again. Slowly other kids would begin to arrive, setting up make-shift goals, and other kids would gather hoping to get to play some hockey. We would skate until the street lights came on, hands frozen and toes numb. It felt good to unlace our skates and let our achy feet free. We would then gather our gear, exhausted and hungry, and make our way back home, too tired to talk, but each one of us wondering what was for supper that night. There was nothing better than seeing the warm lights of your mom's kitchen glowing in the dark as you made your way through the icy night to your door, your mittens frozen stiff, your nose running from the cold. Walking through the kitchen door you found sweet relief as the warmth of the kitchen enveloped you, the chill of the day forgotten. Only to do it all over again the next day.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

When life hands you a Lemon....

I finally went back to work on Tuesday. What a relief! Which is why I have not written in an eternity….because if I don’t take the stupid train or the lamo bus I have nothing to write about…..sad but true...I do miss work when I'm not there....not because I love to work… but because I live in a basement apartment....ALONE….think “Laverne & Shirley” where the ONLY thing they can see out the ONLY window in their apartment is the feet of people walking by…. Except...well... like I said it’s just me…no Laverne…no Shirley…and no Boo Boo kitty….So you see if I don't go to work I don't see sunlight, let alone see people or talk to people. I never felt so bad about it until I was watching an old episode of "30 Rock" when Liz Lemon decided that she didn’t need a social life or a stupid boyfriend…..until....she was home late one night….alone as usual…..having a snickity snack… and choked in her apartment…..she scurried around her kitchen trying to figure out how to give herself the Heimlich….luckily with the help of a kitchen chair she survived!....but after watching that I was like…WTF am I going to do if I choke at home alone?...I would most certainly die and be wouldn’t be found on the floor in my apartment for weeks!....Well if I do choke and I'm found dead I hope (a) I was eating something healthy like a carrot, or maybe a protein bar and not laffy taffy and (b) I hope I have clothes on!

It was good to be back.....and out of my cave. Well at least I survived another night without choking to death…thank God! I made my way to Dunks….I needed coffee so bad! I was riding up the escalator I thought about my sad, pathetic, "Liz Lemon" life…. .until I reached the doorway at Dunks…. where one of the employees was busy scrubbing the door and walls of the entry way with a large, soapy, brush in the freezing cold……I thought to life can't be that sad and pathetic......could be worse....I could have been the one who projectile vomited at dunks for all to see....or I could be the sorry ass guy cleaning it up. I love my Liz Lemon Life!