Thursday, March 4, 2010

When life hands you a Lemon....

I finally went back to work on Tuesday. What a relief! Which is why I have not written in an eternity….because if I don’t take the stupid train or the lamo bus I have nothing to write about…..sad but true...I do miss work when I'm not there....not because I love to work… but because I live in a basement apartment....ALONE….think “Laverne & Shirley” where the ONLY thing they can see out the ONLY window in their apartment is the feet of people walking by…. Except...well... like I said it’s just me…no Laverne…no Shirley…and no Boo Boo kitty….So you see if I don't go to work I don't see sunlight, let alone see people or talk to people. I never felt so bad about it until I was watching an old episode of "30 Rock" when Liz Lemon decided that she didn’t need a social life or a stupid boyfriend…..until....she was home late one night….alone as usual…..having a snickity snack… and choked in her apartment…..she scurried around her kitchen trying to figure out how to give herself the Heimlich….luckily with the help of a kitchen chair she survived!....but after watching that I was like…WTF am I going to do if I choke at home alone?...I would most certainly die and be wouldn’t be found on the floor in my apartment for weeks!....Well if I do choke and I'm found dead I hope (a) I was eating something healthy like a carrot, or maybe a protein bar and not laffy taffy and (b) I hope I have clothes on!

It was good to be back.....and out of my cave. Well at least I survived another night without choking to death…thank God! I made my way to Dunks….I needed coffee so bad! I was riding up the escalator I thought about my sad, pathetic, "Liz Lemon" life…. .until I reached the doorway at Dunks…. where one of the employees was busy scrubbing the door and walls of the entry way with a large, soapy, brush in the freezing cold……I thought to life can't be that sad and pathetic......could be worse....I could have been the one who projectile vomited at dunks for all to see....or I could be the sorry ass guy cleaning it up. I love my Liz Lemon Life!

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