I finally went back to work on Tuesday. What a relief! Which is why I have not written in an eternity….because if I don’t take the stupid train or the lamo bus I have nothing to write about…..sad but true...I do miss work when I'm not there....not because I love to work… but because I live in a basement apartment....ALONE….think “Laverne & Shirley” where the ONLY thing they can see out the ONLY window in their apartment is the feet of people walking by…. Except...well... like I said it’s just me…no Laverne…no Shirley…and no Boo Boo kitty….So you see if I don't go to work I don't see sunlight, let alone see people or talk to people. I never felt so bad about it until I was watching an old episode of "30 Rock" when Liz Lemon decided that she didn’t need a social life or a stupid boyfriend…..until....she was home late one night….alone as usual…..having a snickity snack… and choked in her apartment…..she scurried around her kitchen trying to figure out how to give herself the Heimlich….luckily with the help of a kitchen chair she survived!....but after watching that I was like…WTF am I going to do if I choke at home alone?...I would most certainly die and be wouldn’t be found on the floor in my apartment for weeks!....Well if I do choke and I'm found dead I hope (a) I was eating something healthy like a carrot, or maybe a protein bar and not laffy taffy and (b) I hope I have clothes on!
It was good to be back.....and out of my cave. Well at least I survived another night without choking to death…thank God! I made my way to Dunks….I needed coffee so bad!....as I was riding up the escalator I thought about my sad, pathetic, "Liz Lemon" life…. .until I reached the doorway at Dunks…. where one of the employees was busy scrubbing the door and walls of the entry way with a large, soapy, brush in the freezing cold……I thought to myself....my life can't be that sad and pathetic......could be worse....I could have been the one who projectile vomited at dunks for all to see....or I could be the sorry ass guy cleaning it up. I love my Liz Lemon Life!
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