Thursday, May 27, 2010

Here's a story..of a lovely lady

I was sitting on the train minding my own business listening to some Hall and Oates (secretly) on my iPod…when across the way I noticed this young girl in her early twenties who looked exactly like Jan Brady….not like “Channel 56 rerun Jan Brady” but “The Brady Bunch Movie Jan Brady”….she had long blonde hair and it was pushed back with a head band….I watched as she pulled a pink "hello kitty" hand mirror out of her bag..and then searched through her bag to find her lip gloss…great….I get to watch her apply makeup…she opened the mirror and began to apply her "wet n’ wild" lip gloss in a nice frosty shade of pink while looking in the mirror…then when she was done she smiled a big scary smile in the mirror….like a girl possessed…… didn’t end there.... she put the cap back on the lip gloss…closed her mirror and put them back in her bag only to pull out her"hello kitty" HAIRBRUSH!.......I thought to myself if Jan starts getting all “100 stroke Marcia” on her hair I am going to flip the hell out!....but she didn’t….she looked at her brush and began to CLEAN IT on the train….She slowly pulled strands of her long blonde hair out of the bristles with her perfectly painted pink nails and tossed them on the ground like she was pulling petals off a daisy….. I watched as the golden strands slowly floated to the dirty, sticky floor... there was a guy standing beside her who was so deeply involved in his book that he didn't realize that the hair balls that didn't make it to the train floor…. clung nicely to his stone colored dress pants….I thought…am I the only one who is seeing this? Sometimes I wonder if I'm in a Hydroxycut daze and that my late TVland marathons are starting to go to my head...because it clearly goes unnoticed by other passengers. Once she got all her hair out of the brush and onto the floor…. and on the passenger beside her ….she then removed a tissue from her bag and began to clean the bristles ONE by ONE……like she was polishing Mike and Carol’s Sterling Silver Anniversary Platter … INSANE!

Hey Lady Brady! Are you telling me that your life is that busy that the only time you have to clean your "hello kitty" hairbrush is on the train? From what I remember you never had that much of a social life. I mean after all your ONE boyfriend George Glass was IMAGINARY!....By the way isn’t it Alice’s job to keep everything neat and tidy? What would your mother think? Jan don’t get me wrong I love the Brady Bunch….but you my friend are only setting yourself up for one thing…..a BRADY PUNCH!

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