Did you ever have one of those mornings when you alarm goes off and you lay there in bed going through your Rolodex of “101 excuses to not go to work” in your mind?…..I usually watch the weather in the hopes that maybe Beacon Hill was swept away by a massive Tsunami….never happens…NEVER!.....I was having one of those mornings….well every morning is one of those mornings…it is probably because I live in a dungeon, a basement apartment with no light except for my little street level “Laverne and Shirley” window above my bed…..I can spend a day at home and never even know what the weather is or what time of day it is. …maybe I should start referring to it as my “bomb shelter” rather than my "dungeon"...People might think I offer services in my underground world, services that I just I don’t offer… (Insert sound of bullwhip here)… yet
After watching Meredith Vieira the “Cougar of morning TV” for about 20 minutes I slowly dragged myself out of bed….thinking to myself…what the hell am I going to wear today?.....I am a creature of habit….I like routine…but I have gotten a bit too “routine” with my clothing choices for work….to the point that my friend will call me at my desk and say “It’s Wednesday so I bet you are wearing your brown dress with the brown strappy heels”….which is when I tilt my head down to see I am…in fact…..wearing my brown dress with the brown strappy heels….as hard as I try to not fall into that cycle it never fails….you can always tell what day it is by what I am wearing…..
I always leave my TV on…it’s on while I sleep and it’s on until I leave the house in the morning…I like the noise…but it is also a huge distraction….and is probably the main reason why I am always running for the bus….I get all my news from the Today show….which means I tend not to know too much about what is going on in the world…only how far along Lauer has progressed with his hair plugs and how many times Ann Curry can say good morning in 30 seconds….I think her record is five…..I tried setting my clocks ahead to get me moving but…hello!!!.... I know they are set ahead and I always say to myself well its really 7 not 7:10 am so I have ten more minutes….hip hip hooray!......I need a bandit to sneak into my place and change all the clocks by setting them 20 minutes ahead without me knowing…it’s the only way it would work…..I showered and rushed to dress….throwing on my navy blue dress…which is always a bitch to zip up I just cannot reach it….ugh I fumbled with it getting it half way up and realized I had no idea where my shoes were….I live in an apartment the size of a postage stamp….you would figure I would know where everything was….I rummaged through my basket o’ shoes and found them and headed out the door….running to the bus stop.
I had an early meeting so when I got to the State House I made my way to my office tossed my coat on the coat rack and hauled ass to my meeting……I texted my friend to save me a seat……I got there just in the nick of time….out of breath I made my way through the rows of seats to my friend where I took a seat...one of my friends was sitting behind me and tapped me on the back…I was like....why can I feel a cold finger tapping between my shoulder blades?..........OMG! I never zipped up my dress!……I quickly tried my best to stretch my arms behind my back frantically trying to locate my zipper…my friend behind me quickly came to my rescue and zipped my dress. I was so embarrassed….I turned to my friend beside me who fought to hold back laughter in the room full of people….and he said “Rough morning?”…then he slowly looked at me...head to foot and said “Let me guess….its Thursday!”