Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Bitch is BACK!

Don’t worry my friends….the bitch is back!.....I have not gone completely soft on ya….let me fill you in on my glorious commute last night….I got to the T station about six o’clock…it was a long day…the train was just arriving at the station when I was coming down the stairs…well hauling ass down the stairs…I was out of breath I might add, since I am still carrying around about ten pounds of “luggage” from my feed bag sessions at Christmas…..

For the record I always have to wait for my damn train so I was pretty pumped to see it pulling in…..I got on the train and to my amazement found a seat right off the bat!...then I thought for a moment….maybe this is all a dream….the train is here when I got here…I got a seat without having to accost anyone….something is wrong….perhaps I tripped and fell down the stairs and I am really not on the train but lying unconscious at the foot of the stairs…people stepping on, and over me as I lay there motionless….is this what they meant by “living the dream”?....I sure as hell hope not…

I eventually claimed my seat and sat down next to a pleasant enough looking woman….I brought my bag to my lap and started going through it looking for my blackberry...when….I noticed Ms. Bright Eyed Nosey Pants looking over my shoulder... INTO my bag…she watched as I moved things around trying to find my damn phone…this is when I wish I had something obnoxious in my bag…like vagisil or FDS spray or something…I am sure that would make her divert her eyes…maybe she would even move to another seat….this is when I knew I was not dreaming.

I finally found my phone in my bag o’ tricks……checked my facebook….and SO DID SHE!.......checked my messages….and SO DID SHE!...Hey Sally Snoops A Lot…you need time to put on your glasses? I don’t want you to miss anything…Hey why don’t you take your head off my shoulder and stop reading my PERSONAL e-mails. This isn’t romper room…and this isn’t story time. Mind your own flippin’ bee’s wax!

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