I had the pleasure of taking the commuter rail this morning…now this is a completely different experience than taking that T……different rules…different fools.....and as you know, my tolerance for fools is pretty damn low….

I am sure many of you have taken the commuter rail into the city to see a Sox came or some other event…well riding the train during the week, especially the commuter rail, is a whole different ball park….the thing that pisses me off the most about the commuter rail is that it costs an arm and a leg (when I write that all I can think about is that damn chick in the t-mobile commercial holding the arm and the leg…I need that burned out of my brain!) and the other kicker?.....there is no bar service…….

The commuter rail is the perfect place to watch a snazzy dressed professionals nod off, snore and drool on themselves and if you are lucky enough…drool on you too….and it is usually the guy next to you…or should I say….ON YOU…and not ON YOU like Tom Cruise in his Risky Business train ride either…more times than not these “nodders” doze and dip…..which means they fall asleep and then lose the capability of holding their body up because….well they are DEAD asleep…

When you get on the train you have a few options for seating….single seating, two seater, and the three seater…single seating is very limited…..well you would think single seating would be ideal…and it can be, as long as you are not sitting across from the bathroom….which I might add smells like a port-a-potty at Lollapalooza….and if you have to use the train bathroom, you have to fight the urge to vomit as you try and pee…which can prove to be very difficult…not to mention trying to pee as you hover over the seat on a moving train….needless to say you never use the john unless absolutely necessary!......which means only if you have an EXPLOSIVE case of diarrhea….

I always try to grab a two seater….less drama….easy cheesy…..the three seaters?….nightmare-ish!.....here is the deal….the first person that sits in the three seater goes to the window. The second person that sits, sits in the aisle seat…..now you would assume that when the third person comes by to sit, that the person on the aisle would just slide over……………..NOT!.....they get up and let you get in so you can sit in the middle….. between Obnoxious Tech Guy and Dr. Drool….which makes for a great commute….nothing liek being the meat in a commuter sandwich....

This morning the train was packed….I had to sit in a three seater….ugh…. I like to find the person sitting in the aisle with the most shit on his lap….why you ask?...because I know how people think….they think….if I have my laptop out, and I have my coffee in my hands, and my backpack in the middle seat (yeah back pack!) and I “look” busy then people are less likely to ask to sit….well that is not how I roll…..I look for THAT guy….the TECH Guy with all his shit laid out on the seat….that is the guy that I bother…just for fun…they always ignore you when you say …excuse me can I sit here?....so you have to “tap” them on the shoulder….oh yeah I tap Tech Guy on the shoulder…

So I tapped this guy on the shoulder and asked if I could sit…..he was pissed….he huffed and puffed….the wire to his ear buds got caught…he had to grab his BACKPACK and laptop with coffee in hand to GET UP….so he could be “nice enough” to let me into the seat….Hey Mr. Gamer Laptop Lover! there is no need for a laptop to be open on a train for a 30 minute ride….unless maybe if you are working on a cure for cancer….and from the looks of the game you are playing, you and your "band of brothers" aren’t working on anything…except maybe not EVER getting laid.