Sometimes the Suit Doesn't Make the Man

I got to the Braintree stop this morning feeling pretty fantastic.....because……it’s FRIDAY and a long weekend to boot…woo hoo!.......Thank you MLK!!!! Getting on the train at the Braintree stop is usually uneventful, since it is the end of the line, so trains are usually there when I get there, and I don’t have to freeze my ass off wait for one…..(Great! now that I said that, I probably screwed myself and Choo Choo Charlie will curse me, and now I will have to wait every morning for a flippin’ train)….that is how it works….say something positive about the MBTA and the next day, if not that afternoon, or evening, your commute will go to complete hell….I made my way to the escalator and walked up….yes..you walk up escalators…you do not stand on them and ride them up to the top….this isn’t Six Flaggs kids….it’s not a ride……it sucks when you hit that escalator at a good sprint only to find some dumb ass standing in the middle of the escalator….oblivious to the world around them….how do I solve this problem you ask? I stand on the stairs directly behind them….assuming the spoon position….if you ever want an idiot to move….invade their space………..and start humming like you drank 10 red bulls…it works….

I finally made it to the top of the escalator….….and made my way to my chariot……a steel death trap on wheels, and took my seat…I could hear music coming from someone…..who was it?....it drives me mad when I can hear music from an iPod and it’s not mine!.....mostly because whatever song is blaring out of their ear buds is guaranteed to get stuck in my head ALL DAY…but hey any song will be an improvement to the theme song from “The Walton’s” which has been stuck in my head for the past three damn days now…..I looked diagonally across from me and there he was……Mr. Slim Shady….he even looked like him….blonde…thin…and I imagine he thought he looked pretty “badass”….obviously one of Braintree’s finest…..He was wearing a suit and was definitely in his early 20’s….I am guessing maybe he was headed off to a job interview, or who knows…..maybe his arraignment at Quincy court…

This Eminem “wanna be” was boppin’ his head to the music…showing no shame…..giving me a free lip sync concert…..when all of a sudden…the golden moment occurred……I watched as he lifted his hand to his head….pointed one finger…and you guessed it…..went for the bat cave….now I understand the term “diggin’ for trout”…he dug right in….then I guess he found what he was looking for…..but it wasn’t good enough to just find it….he had to, in perfect male fashion, INSPECT his nugget….I felt like I was at home with my brothers…I was half expecting him to fling it at me….but no….this kid was classy, he wiped it on his wool dress coat….I was like…really?....does he not see me on the train?......Hey MTV Jams! Nice suit…but it makes more than a suit to make it happen pal…for starters maybe you should check for bats in the bat cave before you leave the house....and another thing Jazzy Jeff!... how about keeping that live concert going on in your head…IN YOUR HEAD….where it belongs!