Apparently there is no shaking Blondie....she is on the bus even if I mix it up and take a later one or an earlier one...it's like who is stalking who?....and since I'm the one writing about her ever day like a scorned lover then I guess the evidence is stacked against me....let's just say I won't be taking any photos of her in the off chance she's found dead at the bottom of a barrel of clam chowder at a food festival for I could be to blame!!!!
When I got on the bus today she was sprawled across the handicap seats as usual....she was sportin' her ray bans...but she had her eyes closed...the sun was pouring in through the window onto her big round body and her tight Lee jeans...she seemed to be enjoying the glow....on the bus mind you..in front of strangers...she looked like she was meditating or willing her phone to ring....you decide....I thought to myself that would be the day that I closed my eyes on the bus...insanity!.....well I guess she's safe.....since as my son used to say "fat kids are harder to kidnap"
Within minutes she was on the phone.....she made a call because apparently she couldn't "will" her phone to ring....I wonder if she notices that I stare at her and write about her haha....anyway....she was talking about going to a friend's wedding and how she was going to catch the bouquet.....I thought....Blondie? Single? No way!.......then I thought I bet she's one of those hard core bouquet catchers......she probably has a strategy...a couple of elbows to the chest....step on a few toes....take one or two bitches down....then snatch that bouquet and wedded bliss is just days, months, years a lifetime away.....when I'm forced to go out on that damn dance floor for the bouquet toss at one of my "sucker" friends weddings.....that thing falls at my feet. It's like friggin' kryptonite....I'm not going for it...I had a repeat wedding and there is NO need for a three-peat....maybe that's why Blondie packed an Olympic lunch....maybe she's in training for the big toss.....her lunch had its own seat right next to her for crying out loud...we got to Braintree station...and as we got off the bus there was some sand and she slipped a bit...kinda cartoonish...and I thought here it is....the moment I've been waiting for.....Blondie is gonna eat some pavement....sweet....but unfortunately she was able to regain her balance....I'm sure the weight of her "lunch of champions" helped out....this is just living proof my friends, weebles wobble...but they don't fall down.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment