I'm already going to hell and the worst part is...it will probably be on the express train or even worse the express bus... so at this point I figure I can say whatever the hell I want especially since I laugh at myself all the flippin' time because let's be honest when it comes to idiots, it takes one to know one, and as much as people irritate the hell out of me, I'm sure there has been more than one occasion where I have irritated the hell out of someone...mostly my family...mostly my sisters....but I'm sure a fair share of strangers as well....I can dish it out, and most of the time take it....as long as I didn't already take in three martinis….I promise I won't take it personal and I won't throw punches.
Traveling on the red line I am the minority....traveling through Quincy is like traveling through Chinatown. I was on the bus today and I sat next to an Asian woman.....I will tell you why I like to sit next to Asian women….. because they are more likely than not always smaller...actually tiny….which means more room for my fat ass....I sat down and all was great until she took out her phone....you know my issues with idiots talking on their cell on the bus and/or train....it's flippin' annoying!!!! Well there is only one thing more annoying!!! People who talk on their cell phone in CHINESE!!!!!!!..... Ok well maybe there is like one time the Chinese language is not annoying....and that's like at 2am after last call at the Singapore when your ordering enough chicken fingers and spare ribs to sink a small ship...and you’re wondering why the guy behind the counter can't understand you when you talk.....apparently he's not fluent in YOUR language.... DRUNK!....which is one language my friends, which I speak fluently……I can tolerate the Chinese language then...and only then…actually I've probably made comments about what a beautiful language it is while knee deep in scorpion bowls and mai tais….. But on a bus at 9 in the morning…before I have my coffee....listening to her yackity yack yack ……..I felt like I was in the middle of a Chinese market...she talked so fast and so high....my head began to spin....and then I thought....grrreaaatt she's probably talking about the fat white chick who just sat next to her who is out of breath and smells like peanut butter toast....we got to Braintree and made our way to the train……I sat down and then I realized I forgot my damn peanut butter and jelly on the kitchen counter…..damn it! I hate it when that happens!...I guess that just leaves one option for lunch……CHINESE!