Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Irish Breakfast

I missed TWO busses today….TWO!...that requires skill…or serious LACK of skill…you decide….I swear my mother named me Kate for one reason….and one reason only..it rhymes with LATE…..you would figure by missing two busses that I would manage to avoid Blondie….think again! I got on and there she was….wearing RAY BANS!....you know, like Bruce Willis used to wear…..she kills me…..she had her phone out and as I sat down she began to dial….tap tap tap…beep beep beep….how about slap slap slap …PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH…yeah I have a feeling I could do some serious damage to those Ray Bans….SNAP!

When we got to Braintree station I lost Blondie to the concession stand….nothing like a snickers at 9am….I hauled ass up the escalator and just made it as the train gave its final warning ..ding ding…I sat down gasping for air….I think my regimen of not running, watching MTV and eating Easy Mac for dinner is really working out for me…..by the second stop I realized there was no heat on my car….but I am sure the idiot in the driver’s seat with “MBTA” written across his chest was nice and toasty as he sent text messages to his baby momma….but I figured shivering would distract me from any, and all idiots on the train…..until I got to Quincy Center and ran into one of Quincy’s finest….I smelt him before I spotted him… He was standing beside me holding on to the pole next to me….he was a decent enough looking guy….wearing a nice Irish cap….dress coat….had a red beard…and sunglasses..he held that pole with a kung fu grip….that poll was holding this guy up…he was hurtin’…he clearly had one fun night that ended with one rough morning…

He reminded me of Sunday morning breakfast with my family growing up…my brothers would get up after a wild Saturday night out…sometimes getting my brothers to the table would require the use of my mother’s alarm clock….my mother had two alarm clocks…one was what you might want to consider the “radio” wake up….you know, it was subtle…she would take the handle of a broom and bang it hard as hell on the kitchen ceiling, which just happened to be right below the boys room, which was right underneath my brothers beds….if they were too stupid enough, or too hung over to get up after that…she would then use the “buzzer” which was less subtle….the buzzer was when my mother would take the metal water pitcher from the table and would fill it with ice water…and let it sit a bit to get nice and cold…and then she would walk up the stairs to their room and pull off their sheets and pour it on their toasty, warm, sleeping, snoring, bodies …GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!.....Reason Number 1 why the girls never drank and were always at the table!

So here he was...the perfect example of DUI guy….now if he didn’t hustle to the T in a huffy this morning he is about three weeks out from doing it that’s for sure…Hey BIG IRISH! Good luck at work today…what’s that cologne you’re wearing? …Jameson? or Johnny Walker? ….you should be a real hit with the ladies at the office…after all if it’s one thing we ladies are looking for it’s a guy with ambition! And there’s nothing like a guy who drinks likes it’s his job and he’s working hard toward a promotion!

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