Hop on the bus Gus...no need to discuss .......Anything!

I got out to the bus this morning thinking there was a pretty good chance I missed it… because it’s Monday…..even though I had about twelve hours of sleep last night…..only because after the "Vengeful Vixens Marathon" on Lifetime was all over there was nothing to watch but flippin’ football…. Thanks, but NO thanks …having had an older brother that played football his whole flippin’ life I have lost about 1/3 of my life to that sport already….time to waste my life on something else….and I'm open to some suggestions......when I got to the curb I saw a guy standing at the bus stop…this is good and bad…GOOD because it is clear evidence that I did not in fact MISS the bus…woo hoo!…BAD because that means he is probably going to want to talk to me….they usually start with the weather…then the bus schedule talk…..two things that if they ever came up on a date I would only have one thing to say….Check please!….but since I am not on a date….it’s more like ….Bus please!

This guy had a dress sweater on and a dress shirt….and pants obviously….(But knowing the sketch balls I run into every day I thought I should clarify)....but that was it…this guy was clearly out of his mind….no coat..no hat.....no gloves.....he sort of looked like the choir teacher from Glee.....but younger......it is always young guys pulling this shit….its proves one of two things….he is trying to be manly….”I DON’T NEED A JACKET I AM A MAN!” (insert Tim Allen gorilla sounds)….or he is trying to show that he clearly can’t take care of himself and needs a girlfriend/mother to save him from himself…or at least H1N1. My guess is the latter.....HEY GUY Men drive trucks they don't take buses.....honestly I would rather be at the bus stop with Blondie…because at least she entertains me…..plus she probably throws off some serious heat at a cold bus stop…and could block the wind if I hovered behind her at just the right angle.

When I got to the corner he said..."Good morning, boy is it a cold one" obviously wanting to point out his coatless manliness....….I was like...I'll bite......"Yeah I guess when you don’t own a coat"….he was like "I own a coat I just didn’t wear it….the only thing that is cold are my ears” he said with his boyish twinkle…..and he had ears!.....more like handles if you ask me….he was not a typical "bus guy" .....you could tell...because he wouldn't be wearing those nice shoes, his mother probably bought him on the flippin' bus.....he wouldn't have a smile on his face.....and he wouldn't be talking to me like he had diarrhea of the mouth....he then asked...."When does the bus arrive 8:38?"......I figured I had to reply since the fact that I already made a wisecrack to the kid proving I was not (a) deaf, or (b) mute....damn it!......"The bus gets here when you see it come around that corner"...I said as I tilted my head quickly to the left....not once taking my eyes off my blackberry....this one make take a few mornings before he figures out I'm the “angry non-talker”....Hey DAPPER DAN THE LADIES MAN….let me just bring you up to speed....there is no “chit chat” at the bus stop....not about the weather, not about the bus, and certainly not about any body parts, cold, hot or otherwise......and by the way since you don’t have a COAT to zip….why don’t you start by zipping your LIP...